Sometimes God gives me a word to illuminate something. This time the word was erratic. I was pretty sure I knew what the word meant, but knew I should look it up for further clues as to why that word in particular God used to describe my creative history. Before I go there, let me explain his message. I was beating myself up about not being able to establish a routine with my writing. After all every good writer should spend time writing everyday if they intend to be successful. But my writing, and my creativity, won’t bend to conform to a routine, thus I felt disqualified to be taken seriously. That’s where God implanted erratic into my brain, saying that creating in this way does not disqualify me from his plans for my life. With that message tucked in let’s look up the word.
According to Longman Dictionary, “something that is erratic does not follow any pattern or plan but happens in a way that is not regular.”
The etymology reveals a deeper understanding, erratic’s historical meaning of wandering. When I read that, erratic no longer felt negative, but more childlike. My creativity is curious and exploratory. My writing style is described as discovery writing. Plotting or outlining feels tedious to me, even though I see the value in it.
The point God was getting at was let my validation come from him. I shouldn’t stress over being different or doing things differently than others. Comparison is a efficient way to kill value.
I have one scripture in mind.
“The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit.”
John 3:8 NKJV
I realize I wrote this all about me, but maybe you are erratic like I am. Maybe you are stuck in comparing yourself to others and feeling you fall short. Don’t discount God’s ability to use you. He may have intentionally created you that way. And if he didn’t, he can change what you cannot. Our part is faith and obedience, following God’s gentle nudges.
Grace & Peace,
Sandy
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