My mind is struggling with putting down the words to describe my conflicted reasoning. It seems I have come up to face a paradox of faith: Trusting in God while trying to make sense out of my troubles. Trying to determine what it is I should be doing, is not always a clear and concise path. It plays out something like this: Do I trust God? Yes! Do I know what it is I should be doing? No! Is God with me? Yes! Does God love me? Yes! Is God directing my path? Yes! Well, maybe. I sure hope so! Of course he is! But maybe I’m not listening. Do I need to be listening? I really need to get a handle on this!
I could go on indefinitely, but I think you get the point.
I finally came to the conclusion after asking for prayer, that I need to stop trying to figure this all out and trust the process. I don’t need to depend on my own knowledge or reasoning, I need the support of my husband, my family, my praying friends, and professionals who are equipped with knowledge and skills that I don’t have. I’m discovering just how uncomfortable I get when I don’t feel I have control and it took me giving in to tears to realize the fact that I don’t have control. Understanding that free will is not controlling your life, it is choosing your response to life. I’m am so thankful for the scripture: “If God is for us, who can ever be against us?” (Romans 8:31b NLT) Knowing I can trust, even in my inability to know the exact plan, I have a God who more than makes up for my deficiencies.
I think I’ll take some time just to sit in his lap.
Is it time for you to give in to the tears? Go ahead. There is more than enough room in God’s lap for you, too!
2 thoughts on “Giving In to Tears”
Hello Sweet Thing!!
We were studying the part in James 1: starting at verse 2, last night and the man teaching choose a wonderful verse, spoke to my heart for the circumstance so similar in feeling to what you mentioned. It says,
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. It goes on to say more which is good to go read. Mature, lacking in nothing. And God giving generously when it comes to wisdom.
Well, that was a chapter and verse that I needed to hear as I was feeling kind of how you mentioned, too, in our outreach. Seems like I pray and wait, pray and wait, but truly need to pray without doubting.
Faith comes by hearing the Word of God and this stirred my heart right up to trust and faith to believe. I know you will be stirred in the same way by the Holy Spirit Who lives in you and loves you, so! Love you! -Kathy Angell
Kathy, thank you for your additional verses. It’s always good to dive into the word when we face those trials. Trusting God along with you, Sandy