You may have noticed I have been going through a rough patch. I have been doubting myself and my ability to share anything here that would matter. I’ve been challenged with a bout of anxiety, depression, and SAD. Yet, there is still a battle going on inside that fights to be heard, to quiet the lies, and to rise up against surrender to defeat.

Here I am, sitting in my chair determined to move forward. So I began to pray, I didn’t turn on my Christian music, and I didn’t pour out all my frustration, I just sat quietly and listened. A song began to form in my thoughts so I started singing, I wish I could sing it for you but here is the beginning of a new song I need to write to remind myself of this truth:

Here With Me

You are right here, right here with me.
You are right here, right here with me.
You never left, You will never leave, You will always be,
Right here with me.

I am right here, right here with you.
I am right here, right here with you.
I never left, I will never leave, I will always be,
Right here with you.

Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV)

 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

After this I saw my thoughts like ping pong balls bouncing around inside my skull. Then my thoughts changed into wisps like smoke extending beyond myself; understanding I’m not to see myself confined in this physical body, but to embrace the fact that my spirit reaches out to touch the Infinite One. My mental challenges and limitations are nothing if I will just see God’s power to reach beyond them.

I don’t know what the future holds, I know I will still struggle, but I know God will go with me.