Last year at this time I started a new blog with the hope of a new adventure and a new vision. But instead of finding myself blazing forward onto a new trail, I found myself suddenly confused by which direction to go. I still longed for the comfort and familiarity of this blog that encompassed every aspect of my life. I was unsure of my footing on the new path and the excitement with which I started became a painful reminder of my lack of progress, leaving my other blog sitting fallow.
In truth, this reflects my inner struggle, the tug-of-war between being introspective – The Far Reaches of Grace – and extrospective – In Awe of Him. I find myself constantly falling into the introspective camp by default. But it comes at a cost, a big cost! If I am continually concerned only with myself, I miss out on the relationships God has called me to and blessed me with. I was recently reminded of a truth voiced in a song Add to the Beauty: ” This is grace, an invitation to be beautiful.” To me this meant grace was not an end but a beginning. It is the opportunity to be that person I aspire to be, because Jesus took care of all my junk and threw it in the trash!
I am thankful, eternally thankful for God’s grace in my life and I will continually find myself in need of his grace, but my calling is beyond being a person filled with the Spirit for my own eternal security. I have friendships to build and relationships to nurture and divine appointments to discover. I have songs to write and stories to tell. And definitely hurdles to get over.
So I believe I will try that new blog out again, with a new outlook. It may take some time to come into focus but that’s part of the package. If you want you can help me with your comments at inaweofhim.
One more thing, thank you for reading my blog, it means so much to me.