D is for Daring to Develop my Dreams. This is probably the boldest change I’ve made. It is also the hardest, scariest, and most exciting change.
In my normal everyday life I am not a risk taker, I am quite, and indecisive. Decisions scare me because, what if I make the wrong one? I know what it’s like to have made a bad decision, how small, and stupid, and humiliated I can feel. How easy is to lose money or virtue or trust. Ick!!!! I don’t want to go down that trail!
Now I am beginning to trust my instincts and experience and take some risks to see my dreams become reality.
So what do “my” dreams look like? I want to be a beautiful healthy old woman who writes a blog, writes books, writes and sings worship songs, stays married to her high-school sweetheart for a life-time, delights in her children and grandchildren, and has opportunity to travel. I want to be a good friend, full of encouragement and wisdom. I want to be the woman God desires for me to be and to be confident in hearing his direction for my life.
So now I see three more D’s: Delight, Desire, and Direction. It’s true I want to delight in my family, but this is not all; another positive change I have made is accepting that God delights in me! I had to stop and just smile. When you are such a down and depressed person it is a foreign idea that someone might delight in you. But my God delights in me! He sings over me and dances around me and cheers for me in my revelations! There is no other response but to smile, and cheer, and dance, and sing, and twirl around the house! God is so gracious!
This leads to making him my desire, and seeking his direction. Knowing that when all is said and done, true fulfillment, true happiness, comes from a relationship with the One who created me.
I feel the desire to pray! I know I am not alone in my fear of daring to develop my dreams or in finding it hard to accept your delight. I pray for those whose hearts are ready, those who long to break through. Stir up the coals and fan the flames. Let the walls crumble and the stumbling blocks be tossed aside. Nothing can separate us from the love of God!
I see a vision of the Spirit of the Lord stirring in hearts like a twirling column of fire. Like a powerful tornado tossing aside every hindering thing, opening a clear path and illuminating the dark places, chasing away the dark thoughts that dwell there. It is not a fearful feeling but one of excitement and joy and rejoicing! I see crowds of prisoners, chains falling away, chains lying in bits and pieces on prison floors. I see the crowds in the streets smiling and twirling and praising God. I see the sun shining brightly on cheerful tear stained faces and arms being wrapped around each other as the revelation of God’s delight, beginning like a garment, soaks into their hearts warm, secure and full of hope. Amen! Amen! So let it be!