Today was a game changer for me, one in a series of days. It started two nights ago when I deleted all my games from my iPad because I was so frustrated with myself for spending way too much time in mindlessness. The next day I began reading “Designing Your Dream, Discovering the destiny that’s been fashioned for you!” by Gina La  Morte; and began journaling as she recommended. Then today I listened to the “Secrets of Eating Psychology Audio Class,” by Marc David. This is where I want to expound on what makes this day a game changer.

While listening to Marc talk about how we relate to food, I began to think about what my relationship to food looks like and I didn’t like what I saw. To be honest, even though I love learning about healthy food and the best things to eat, I hate thinking about what to eat because food has become my enemy. I would rather not eat at all if I could, because thinking about it stresses me out with all the rules I put on myself to make sure I’m staying healthy. So I end up putting off preparing meals to the point of grabbing something fast and sweet. Or more often, I rely on my husband to prepare our meals, that way I don’t have to think about it.

This class taught me that understanding our need to find pleasure in our food was perhaps more important than trying to eat right. That taking the time to smell, savor, and enjoy our food in a relaxed state will contribute to a healthy body chemistry, improving our body’s ability to work properly. I’m not saying what I eat doesn’t matter, but how I relate to food is primary and what I eat is secondary.

I also learned that I cannot hate myself into loving myself. This resonated with what I’m learning from Gina, that the things I love are the things that lead me to my dreams. Love produces the greater work. Take for example the following two scriptures:

Romans 5:8 But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

1 John 4:10 This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. NLT

Love comes first. If God loves me before I get my act together, then should I not love myself? With all my flaws, and shortcomings? I think I have misinterpreted things, the glass is not half empty, neither is it half full – I’m beginning to see it was full all along, it was my vision that was impaired.

If I can love myself the way I am, then I can come to the table, not with fear of choosing unwisely, but with joy and freedom to savor the moment. I feel confident that this shift of thought will actually bring me to a place where healthy eating is just an expression of who I am and what I love.