It’s been nearly 3 months since we held our women’s retreat. I had hoped to post some glorious conclusion to all the hard work I and my wonderful committee had done. But instead of coming out raring to start the next retreat and feeling inspired, I find myself questioning everything I’m doing. Don’t get me wrong, retreat turned out great and I believe God showed up and people were changed or inspired. And I did expect there to be a “let down” period following such an intense spiritual endeavor. However, I didn’t expect to find myself doubting my place in the grand scheme of things.
I believe it began with a word of prayer given me by our speaker. She said this may be a time to reinvent myself. At the time I was thinking, “This is exactly what I need.” And so began the questioning, and the doubting. I am certain that is not what God had in mind when he inspired that prayer, but somehow I’ve managed to twist it into some form of midlife crisis! I have every intention to have a sit down with my pastor and go over some of my concerns, but part of me feels silly that I am not able to come out of this on my own.
Do you ever have that feeling after a fully planned vacation that you need another vacation just to do nothing but relax? Maybe the next retreat I plan I should plan a retreat just to relax afterwards. One to just mull over all the things I learn so I can “get a feel” for how they fit in my life. A time to soak, a time to process.
Well I may not have come to any conclusions, and I probably haven’t inspired anyone by writing this post, but I wanted to bring some closure to my Adventures in Retreat Planning series and let you know I’m still alive and trying to follow God’s plan as best I can.
Sending all my love to you and praying for peace within ourselves.