I Will Fail

I know I will fail. That is the thought that is plaguing me on this day of resolutions. So then the questions beg, “Do I attempt it anyway? Or just resign to my failure before I begin?” As I ponder these questions I begin to understand that just as assuredly as I know I will fail, I know I must try. It is in my nature to try. Just as it is in my nature to fail. This year I think the difference is that I am making peace with failing as part of what it takes to succeed. If I set up rules or parameters of what it looks like when I am succeeding, I have to look at those as tools and not the adherence to the rules as the success itself. 

So let me give a couple of examples of what I personally am thinking: I want to write. So if I decide I will write everyday in 2017 and find I miss a day on January 5th, my normal self will resign that I have failed. I may give it a couple more days, but, if I miss January 8th, that will be the end of it. Secondly, I want to lose some weight. I had been following the Paleo lifestyle for several years but recently (since Thanksgiving) I’ve thrown my normal diet out the window telling myself I will get back to it January 1st. Now I’ve already had some leftovers from yesterday that are totally off my diet, so my normal self would give in to the next thing because today is already shot. So why fuss about it today? I’ll just start tomorrow! It’s that stupid “all or nothing” attitude that plagues me relentlessly. But if I make peace with the failing, it losses it’s power over me and I can be fresh in the moment and let go and do the next best thing.

So for today, this is my next best thing. I am writing! I will attempt to write something everyday even if it is just a to-do list or a grocery list. I won’t let myself get discouraged if I miss a day here or there, and I won’t fret over whether I am posting on my blog for others to read or writing in my notebook working on a story. And if I’m having a birthday, I will eat cake!

I want to encourage you to have hope in the new year! Isn’t that what resolutions are about? And don’t let your hopes and dreams get squashed when life doesn’t let you be perfect. God is the only perfect one and he deeply loves us!

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