R is for …

I am Releasing Regrets and Relinquishing Responsibilities. One day I will get permission from my family to write about all our lives and the experiences we’ve been through; but for now, I will Respect their privacy and suffice it to say: As a mother and a wife there are many times I have tried to take on the responsibilities of my husband or children, attempting to change or affect their behavior. As a result I have second guessed my own behavior for my entire life, leaving me with regrets, and questions about how I should have done differently. I can’t express how freeing it is to understand, what my responsibility in a relationship is and what it isn’t! So I’m setting free my regrets and holding on to the lessons learned and I’m giving up the responsibilities that were never mine to begin with. In the process I’m learning to identify which responsibilities are mine, so the stress I take on is proportionately proper.

I recently wrote this poem from God’s heart to mine and one line speaks of regrets:

My Delight –A love poem from God
When I see you, My Delight,
You are as new as the morning, as fresh as newly fallen snow.
I do not fear for your future, for in my love you’ll bloom and grow.
I hold no place for regrets, but wash them all away;
And my heart leaps inside my chest every time I hear you pray.
I know that when you come to me and quite the voices in your mind,
That you will hear me gently speak, and all the answers you will find.
Every good and perfect gift I have for you is free!
You’ll find them falling into your hands, when you find your delight in me.

In church this Sunday our pastor talked about what makes a person’s heart hard. He spoke of Resistance being the key factor, resistance to God. There is still some resistance in my Relationship with God that I didn’t Realize I had. I count three and a half more R’s are entering into my list of positive changes in my life: Coming to Realize the Resistance in my Relationship with God that Result in hardness of my heart. There is no time in life when you can allow yourself to take God for granted. It’s unfortunate that I sometimes avoid spending time with God, giving excuses and justifying my neglect; all because I’m holding in the back of my mind a fear that He will expect too much from me, which is ridiculous, since He knows me better than I know myself. I think maybe I should read that love letter from God on a daily basis until I get it in my thick head just exactly how loving and caring my God is!

So let me add to my New Year’s Resolution of having intention and add Rejoicing. I will Rejoice in God my Father, my Creator, and to Jesus Christ, God-in-flesh, who Restores our Relationship, by the power of His death and Resurrection and the Residing presence of God the Holy Spirit in my life.

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