If I Just Believe Hard Enough

Three weeks ago I had an appointment with a neurosurgeon regarding my back. We discussed the possible treatment for my herniated disc. I have had surgery previously in 2001 and 2005, so I wasn’t looking forward to a third surgery. For the first time I was told that my body could heal on it’s own given time. I left there with some hope, and a follow up in three weeks.

Everyday I would ask myself if the pain was getting better. I had friends and family members praying for my healing. I would have times when I felt like maybe I was doing better. And then I would have it hit me all at once, sending me screaming on the inside, back to my chair.

At my three week follow up, we decided surgery was my best option.

I find this all so terribly frustrating! I believe that God designed our bodies to heal and I feel like such a failure when my own body doesn’t respond to it’s own healing power and the earnest prayers of the saints.

So, let’s look at Jesus ministry. He performed many miraculous signs. What was the determining factor?

Believe that I live as one with my Father and my Father lives as one with me—or at least, believe because of the mighty miracles I have done.

John 14:11 (TPT)

Time and time again, Jesus is trying to show people that he is not just a man, but that he was sent for a purpose by his Father. And not just sent by him but one with him. This was the intent of the miracles he performed. It was both a sign of God’s power and a sign of his love, so that people would believe. So people would know that God would fulfill his word. That all the prophesies of the coming Messiah were fulfilled in Jesus.

Let’s look at another passage.

And the disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him. We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming, when no one can work.”

John 9:2-4 (ESV)

Jesus proceeds to heal the man of his blindness. But, notice Jesus refers to “him who sent me”. Him=Father=God.

Does that mean God no longer grants miraculous healings? No! I believe he is the same yesterday, today, and forever. (Hebrews 13:8) There are many who can testify that God healed them.

Why am I not healed? Don’t the scriptures say if I ask in Jesus name it will be done? Or how about if I have faith the size of a mustard seed? I’m pretty sure my faith is much bigger than that. If I just believe hard enough, it should happen, right?

I think it comes back to the question of faith. Do I need to see a miracle to believe Jesus was God and was sent by God? No. My faith is unwavering and it doesn’t rely on my being healed or in me in any way. I don’t have to jump through any hoops to get God to love me or answer my prayers.

It’s sometimes just a matter of adjusting my perspective. What are my expectations in this situation? Is God going to use this situation for my good and/or his glory? What I want won’t always get me what he wants. Sometimes I need to turn my thoughts away from what I’m going through and take his hand and walk the path with him.

He will walk with me. That is his promise.

Grace & Peace,


This was actually a couple years ago.

3 thoughts on “If I Just Believe Hard Enough

  1. Jill

    Thank you, Sandy, for this beautiful testimony of trust and faith in the hard things. It made me think of a couple of my favorite resources: anything by Joni Eareckson Tada and James T. Draper’s book “Where Real Worship Begins: Lessons from the Life of Job.” Praying for your peace and wellness. 🙏🏻 Grateful for the gift of your sharing❣️

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