Yes, this is how my mind works. I will explain.
Well, I can try to explain…
Last night I was relaxing after four days of company, reading a retelling of Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves. The heroine was hiding in the cave with her cohorts, waiting to spy on the thieves, when something goes terribly awry. Creating tension and anxiety is good storytelling, but often affects my dreams.
I put my book down and headed for bed. My thoughts turned to what I would write for my blog. I considered my efforts during this 21-days of fasting and prayer. With hosting family my efforts had been far from stellar. Thinking about this caused memories of high school homework to rise in my consciousness. I was a B+ student with a propensity to procrastinate. My homework was always done in a rush to finish, doing only the minimal required.
Maybe my grades weren’t all that bad, but I wonder what I could have achieved with more discipline. That’s what I would have achieved — discipline. Discipline would bring my paltry efforts of fasting and prayer to where I wanted to be — aware of the Holy Spirit and listening to his voice.
These thoughts set the mood for my dream. I don’t remember the details, but I was supposed to bake a summer cake. I had decided to bake a lemon cake with lemon icing. I could taste it just thinking about it. I was busy investigating something and had put off baking the cake. I ended up with a muffin-size cake with no frosting. I set it onto the table next to the other more elaborate cakes, feeling defeated and angry with myself, while internally making excuses.
My husband had to remind me that I was being too hard on myself when I told him about my dream and how I was feeling. He reminded me how much I’ve accomplished and that we had had seven extra people staying at our house.
So why am I telling you all this? Three scriptures came to mind:
“But what do you think about this? A man with two sons told the older boy, ‘Son, go out and work in the vineyard today.’ The son answered, ‘No, I won’t go,’ but later he changed his mind and went anyway. Then the father told the other son, ‘You go,’ and he said, ‘Yes, sir, I will.’ But he didn’t go. “Which of the two obeyed his father?”
They replied, “The first.”Matthew 21:28-31a NLT
“Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.”Matthew 5:37 ESV
Put your heart and soul into every activity you do, as though you are doing it for the Lord himself and not merely for others.Colossians 3:23 TPT
My conclusion: I should consider my commitments before saying yes or no. I shouldn’t just give lip service to appear good. It’s better to say no until I can commit fully.
Grace & Peace,