On a scale of 1-10, my anxiety level has been hanging out around a 6 or 7 lately and that’s with taking my anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication. So what’s going on? – Lots!
I hope you don’t mind some rambling, because that’s just what I need right now and I know there’s got to be someone out there listening! So thank you, in advance, for lending your ear.
I’ve been taking some risks to move forward, while dealing with other stresses. I think I’ll take one thing at a time:
1. My husband had surgery because of a torn meniscus in his knee. As a result, we went through some challenges with various problems stemming from the surgery. (Just so you know, my husband is like the opposite of me. I would go into more detail, he will not like me sharing his private life. So that is all I’ll say.)
2. I started doing a Paleo type diet. I’ve lost 10 lbs, but I’m still having trouble adjusting, especially eating out or having get-togethers. I’m otherwise happy I’ve stuck with it.
3. A month after my husband’s surgery, I had my surgery. A complete abdominal hysterectomy. I’ve shared about this already. But the point here being the increased stress level. This was a huge decision for me and now I’m walking in unknown territory.
4. I started a new business, selling Norwex. A totally awesome company and product line that I’ve fallen in love with. Yet, it involves me being active in moving forward and interacting with people. (check it out here.)
5. I spent money on the above business. To make sure I met my sales goals which are set for new consultants, since I’m still recovering from surgery and haven’t wanted to push myself.
6. I spent money on Real Food Con. A free online convention on Paleo type diets. I’m happy I did. (Not a bunch of money, lot’s of free stuff, too.) I just paid to be able to access the info at my leisure rather than the 24 hour windows that were available for free. I still haven’t made it through all the pod-casts.
7. We had two family birthday’s, one here at my house that I should have done differently, since it was a lot more work than I should have taken on. (Thanks to my daughter, Chrissy, for helping get dinner ready, and even my son, Andrew who arrived early and helped with baby Taylor.)
8. That night my husband started having kidney stone pain and we ended up in the ER for 5 hours. He is still having pain 5 days later. (Please pray for him.)
9. I took out a loan for an iPad, for two reasons: First, I wanted one to help me track my business earnings, and my appointments; and second, my daughter, Ariel, still had a year and a half contract on our phone plan, which we would have to pay a penalty for since she got a new carrier.
10. I donated money to a charity in order to enroll in Tribe Writers with Jeff Goins. Because I am a writer, and I have stuff to say! (Still waiting for acknowledgement that I’m enrolled.)
11. I received back the first drafts of illustrations, for my children’s book I want to publish, from a young women I met at the Awaken Workshop. I am so excited!
All this in the last 7 weeks! So my anxiety level is high and I find myself being a little scared. In the past, I would have been too scared to move forward. Today, I still have the same feelings, but a greater confidence to move into the future and into my dreams. I had wanted to share a song I wrote, but found I would have to spend more money to put an MP3 on my blog. So for now I’ll just give you the words and hope they speak into your life as they do mine. This is me and my relationship with God:
You Cover Me Over
Once all my life was darkened with sin.
I fell apart again and again,
‘Til I found in your mercy and love for me,
You went to the cross,
And your blood covers me!
You cover me over,
You cover me over,
You cover me over,
And I am not afraid! (repeat)
There are still times when I’m full of fear.
Troubles loom up and I can’t see clear.
Though I want to fight, or I want to flee,
I look to your word,
And your peace covers me!
The more that I know about you, Lord,
The more that I read within your word,
The more that I trust, the more I believe,
I can rest in your name,
And your arms cover me!
I pray that if you are feeling, like me, slightly overwhelmed by life, that you would rest in the name of Jesus. And allow his arms to wrap around you!